Orchestra- Fed up

[fluteandbassoon]

Hi All

I am in a local county orchestra, playing 2nd bassoon. But I am not enjoyiing it anymore, and as a revery *friendly* person I am starting to hate playing my bassoon. There are several reasons for this.

Firstly, the conductor has something against woodwind players and everytime the orchestra has to be stopped it is teh woodwind sections fault and not anyone elses.

Secondly, every week I am trying my best and the conductor seems to think I am not. I am the lowest ability in the WHOLE orchestra. The conductor keeps having a go at me in front of the whole orchestra and it is ruining my slef confidence on my bassoon- and even my flute playign is getting less confident. (Even my bassoon teacher has noticed my confidence has decreased over this term.)

Lastly, I have been to every single rehearsal. Unlike other palyers. This week, a very close relative was involved in a car crash on the M1, on firday, so I did not get to bed till the early hours. On the saturday (orchestra is on saturday mornings), I had the choice to be with my cousin, but I went to orchestra because I made a commintent to be there every saturday morning.

Also, the condutor asked whether any had been practisng, I said I had but he doesn't believe me.

I was sat in rehearsals crying on saturday morning with alot of peopple sblack personing at me and I was nearly at the point of walking out. I just don't know what to do. I have made loads of friends, but I feel really guilty that I am not enjoying it, as my parents are paying for me to go. I don't want to play my bassoon anymore but I am pushing myself to practise. I am trying best.

I don't know what to do.


A Very Upset Ceri

[Matt]

my advice giving isn't too sharp to be honest, but...

you probably need to talk with your teacher, and probably with the conductor too. your teacher can help with your motivation and playing, and you need to tell your conductor how you feel. does your conductor have a sense of humour? if so, try making a joke of it next time he has a go at you. you mightn't feel it'll do any good, but you never know, he might ease up after that.

"i'm the lowest ability in the WHOLE orchestra"

you've as much right to be there as anyone else. i'm guessing you had some sort of audition right? if you got through that, then you're obviously up to scratch at least. otherwise you would've been rejected. if your teacher put you in for it, then s/he must know what they're doing.

also remember there's more to playing the bassoon than orchestra. ok, not much else, but if you're not gonna be appreciated there, then see what else you can do - w/w quartets, trios etc are all fun and you'll get more recognition for your efforts.

maybe it might be beneficial to back off practicing the bassoon for the moment. it seems as if you're doing the whole downward spiral thing of "i can't do it i'm awful". play something fun instead of whatever you're playing atm. play something you can play real easily. work through page 1 of the weissenborn at triple speed. sight read something impossible. do random fingerings and laugh as loudly as you can at the ridiculous sounds you're making. take an old reed and take it to bits and when you've done that stamp on it. take a picture of your conductor and tear it up into as many little pieces as you can.

and remember, being in the orchestra isn't a life or death matter. if you don't enjoy it, don't do it, especially if it's costing you money to do it.

hope this helps...

[fluteandbassoon]

I will be talking to my teachers. The conductor has got no sense of humour and see us as a "professional" orchestra.

I had to audition to get in. I was supprised I got into the orchestra I was in as I am not at grade 5+ standard.

play something fun instead of whatever you're playing atm. play something you can play real easily. work through page 1 of the weissenborn at triple speed. sight read something impossible. do random fingerings and laugh as loudly as you can at the ridiculous sounds you're making. take an old reed and take it to bits and when you've done that stamp on it. take a picture of your conductor and tear it up into as many little pieces as you can.

That sounds fun! (Esp. the last one)

Thanks Matt, it helps alot.

[~*~Ruth~*~]

i just read this on ABRSM as well. i can't really add anything that matt hasn't already said but i hope you get it sorted.

Personally, i feel part of his job as a conductor is encourage you and help you out and stuff as well as actually conducting so he's a bit of a poop! Our string tutor in orchestra is lovely, she always finds something nice to say about our playing (and finding nice things to say and mine and em's playing isn't easy lol) which i think is important.

did that make any sense? hehe probably not!

i hope your cousin's ok too!

[Matt]

glad to be of help

what piece(s) are you playing

[fluteandbassoon]

We are playing:

Rossini- Thevish Magpipe Overture
M. Arnold- English Danecs, Set One
Saint-Seans- 3rd Symponie

Ruth, it did make sense

[~*~Ruth~*~]

oh good cos i was all over the place when i wrote it!

anyway, i'm kind of going off topic so...umm

[fluteandbassoon]

UPDATE:

I have left the orcehstra unfotunatly. I did try and get a transfer but those in charge were changing their mind every 5 minutes.

[Matt]

i'm sorry to hear that. at least now you won't be subjected to your conductor. plus you can slag him off now without fear of reprisal!!